Straight talk about gay marriage

A review of God Believes in Love: Straight Talk about Gay Marriage, by Gene Robinson (New York: Knopf, 2012)

cover

Paperback Edition

The thesis of this book is succinctly stated in the final paragraph: “I believe in marriage. I believe it is the crucible in which we come to know most deeply about love. It is in marriage that God’s will for me to love all humankind gets focused in one person. It is impossible to love humankind if I can’t love one person. That opportunity to love one person and to have that love sanctioned and supported by the culture in which we live is a right denied gay and lesbian people for countless centuries. It’s time to open that opportunity to all of us. Because in the end, God believes in love” (196).

In the rest of the book—all 195 pages—Gene Robinson, who at the time he wrote it was the Episcopal Church’s bishop of New Hampshire, develops the theological meaning of married love, summarizes the history of marriage in western society, explains the separation of Religion and State in the American constitutional system, and states the case for same-sex marriage as an authentic manifestation of the love in which God believes.

The author’s life experience provides the context for this book and contributes to its emotional impact: born to tobacco sharecroppers in rural Kentucky; “massively injured in childbirth” and not expected to live; nurtured as a Christian in a small congregation of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ); confessed his faith and was baptized into Christ at age twelve. His “greatest desire was to live like Christ.”

By the time he graduated from the University of the South, discerned a call to ordained ministry (in the Episcopal Church), and enrolled in seminary, he knew that he was attracted to men, didn’t like it, and loathed himself for it. After two years of therapy, he believed that he was ready to be married. From the beginning of his relationship with the woman he married, he told her of his history of attraction to men. She responded that their love was strong enough to deal with whatever might happen.

When Robinson was thirty-nine and their two daughters were still in elementary school, the marriage was dissolved before a judge and in a poignant ceremony at a church. Robinson continued his ministry, fell in love with a man, and they established a home. They established a civil union and later were married. Despite opposition from many people in world-wide Anglicanism, Robinson was elected to the office of bishop. Since the book was published, Robinson has retired and on May 4, 2014 announced that he and his husband plan to divorce.

Most of the book consists of Robinson’s answers to ten questions most often asked him over the years: Why gay marriage now? Why should you care about gay marriage if you’re straight? What’s wrong with civil unions? Doesn’t the Bible condemn homosexuality? What would Jesus do? Doesn’t gay marriage change the definition of marriage that’s been in place for thousands of years? Doesn’t gay marriage undermine marriage? What if my religion doesn’t believe in gay marriage? Don’t children need a mother and a father? Is this about civil rights or getting approval for questionable behavior?

Robinson’s answers are written in clear, straightforward, serious but non-technical language. Some of the contributions he makes are these:

  1. He provides a theologically coherent support for same-sex marriage despite the long tradition of vigorous opposition by culture and religious communities.
  2. He outlines the radically varied patterns of marriage in western society, thus undercutting the assumption that current discussions are contrary to ages-old systems.
  3. He explains the fact that in the United States marriage has always been a civil institution that is clearly distinct from the religious blessing of the union of two persons in a relationship of love.
  4. He positions the recognition of gay marriage with other movements to overcome discrimination and grant full civil rights to minorities whom majoritarian systems oppress.
  5. He draws upon a substantial body of factual data to answer questions such as the effect upon children when they grow up in homes with same-sex parents. Read more. . . . Straight talk about gay marriage

 

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